Poker

everyone asks me to leave,

"everyone" is from There.

they tell me that you love me,

"they" are from Here.

everyone asks me what you have done to me,

they ask me what I have done to you.


conspiracy,

art of seduction,

controlling issue,

business.


sitting in your office and pouring my heart

watching you losing on your online poker

how much am I willing to bet

in this marathon game

where the truth lies

and lies six-feet-under.


you said that maybe I was an angel

that you wanted me to stay

that we had a future together;

I said that in fact I was real

that I would like to stay

that the future was unknown


you said that at times you didn't remember

what you had drunk

what you had said

what you had revealed

I said that unfortunately

I couldn't say the same


the last time I marked my whim

with a kitchen knife

you smashed your beloved whisky

against the wall

pounded the sofa --

"there is no possibility left;

we have become so distant;

I can't feel your love;

an end would serve us good."

I came towards your scream

extending my bleeding arm

you turned away and lit a smoke

breaking down on the phone

never had I seen you cry

so desperately

as if there was a monster inside

ripping you apart


we started a story

we couldn't continue

to live with the insanity

of each other

to live with my blades and your spirits

as I held you on my chest

I read that it could be the last time


you left with a sigh

with me alone playing

images back and forth in my head

and I dialed your number

there was sheer voice mail

reminded me the only other time

you woke up next to a strange naked body


I packed my case

waiting for time to end our case

waiting for you to end your conscious

with vodka and apple juice

as you finally opened the door

having another break-down

speaking non-sense

crying sans-cessé

declaiming the urge to leave

yet you stayed tonight

in this fifteen square meters of

what had become nothing

but memories