So, officially we have gone through another half-year.
First day of the month starts
with a Garfield Monday. Not only have I overslept the first lecture, I
am missing the last theo lecture before the final exam coming up
Wednesday.
It is a curse! Every single semester is two weeks too long for
me. And you would think that I must have gotten used to it after all
these years, doing nothing but homework and going to classes.
I
am going to be 30 in a few months, an age where many are having the
prime of their career; while I still panic over unfinished experiment
protocols, crawling through science 101, sending out job applications
for the upcoming summer break.
I am content though, although for many I might not appear so. I
listen to "hier encore" and remember that I was singing that song in
the car when I just turned 20. I recall being euphoric just to know
that my paperwork and legal status had been sorted out...
It is a progress, I keep telling myself, besides being a
student, I have other roles to fulfil in my little life and I am quite
satisfied with what I have. Comparing to all my high school classmates, I
am no doubt the luckiest one; despite Mom's regret to let me leave home
as a minor, and I am more than happily married without kids. (Sorry,
Mom, unhappily married with children is not on my list, and it never
will.)
Really, I do feel grateful and the itchy feeling of
imperfection only indicates my earning to change for the better. (well,
better grades if you want to get specific; I sense the uncomfortable
"in-transit" impression constantly crawling under my skin when I was
applying for the professional journalism schools in France -- what I
know is better than the average, but not good enough to get into the top
100.)
However, it is OK. The long and horrific winter promised a
bright summer; Grandma would be happy to know that we are using her
recipes and we are sharing them with others, Grandpa would be pleased to
know about my academic ambition. And for the first time in my life I
get to work for myself instead of for other people. (See Neutrale Zone)
Supposedly I have too many distractions, supposedly I am not a
"either or" person, supposedly I am allergic to self-discipline,
addicted to staying up all night whilst ditching classes in the morning
(never work though; I have never overslept a work day)....it will all
work out. (Am I the living proof of pure luck?!)
Just got a
call and an email from a job I applied for two days ago (a good sign
right? They contacted me separately because they are from different
branches of the same company. I am not sure what to do yet.) I will
likely to be working as a after-school-coach (at some Nachhilfe
institute) this summer, although I am not sure what I will be teaching, I
did apply for 6 subjects (!!! I really did.)
Busy summer, here I come :) And bring the Sun with you!
