I am going to be 30 next week. I don’t feel like it--> OK, as
if how I feel would matter.
Since
I have been ditching 8am Tutorium for about a month now. I am too scared to go
to my tutor’s office and ask for the homework back. I am not sure why I have
been ditching pretty much half of my classes at the Uni. since early November.
And for the freaking birthday, I wish I can make it to the 8am class.
I am
standing in transit again. I hate this. It disappoints me to know that in a
faculty where ethic and moral are being preached from the people who’s got
none. It has always been my strong interest and childhood dream to become a
theoretical physicist. I never used to regret doing my studies in the humanity
field (hence the word “used to”). Today, I feel that I might have done my
studies backwards. Maybe I should have begun with science to spare me from all
this cynicalness and jadedness? Or not? Can growing up too fast not be a bad
thing? Or the fact that all these years just confirm the “rumor” that some of
those who live in the ivory towers are completely overrated and over paid? I
was told that I would never be able to have any opportunity developing a
career, not only because I didn’t have a mother tongue, but also because what
is being done isn’t going to be needed in the society, “not like science or something
like that” they said, “something that actually has visible contribution in the
society.” Really?! Do you also think that what you do is senseless and over
paid? You are not alone.
At
least my private life is good. Marriage has been a pure success and we are
going to celebrate our 5th anniversary next week too! (Thanks love. And
we haven’t separated for even a day since we got married! That’s almost 2000
days!) And I can’t complain about work. (Well, actually I could but I am not
going to do it today). Since I’ve ditched all my classes this morning and early
afternoon, I am going to take a shower and go to work now.
